


the desolation of lara croft

by dryadfiona



Category: Tomb Raider & Related Fandoms, Tomb Raider (Video Games)
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, F/F, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-10
Updated: 2019-05-10
Packaged: 2020-02-29 09:49:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,027
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18775831
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dryadfiona/pseuds/dryadfiona
Summary: Yamatai took everything from them except each other.





	the desolation of lara croft

Sam hates being bored.

She always likes having something to do, something in her hands, someone to talk to. This whole "wait and rest" thing is driving her completely insane. Sometimes she thinks she's thinking thoughts that aren't her own, she's so stir-crazy. There's only so many dumb shows she can watch the entirety of on Netflix before she wants to do absolutely anything else.

She cleans their entire apartment. She edits footage she took months before they left on what was supposed to be their big break. She tries to cook bacon. She learns what to do when it starts smoking way more than it should.

After the windows are open and the room just smells like the thing they use to clean the counter again, Sam doesn't really know how to deal with the panic attack that came with smelling smoke again, so she goes back to the couch, curls up under a blanket, and hyperventilates.

"Sam?"

She can hear Lara's steps come closer and closer to the couch, and she reaches out a hand. Lara grabs it. There's a slight thud that might be Lara falling to her knees so that they can hold hands without Lara having to awkwardly bend down.

"What's wrong?"

"Tried to cook," Sam mutters, almost too quietly for Lara to hear. "Smoke."

"Oh, Sam," Lara says. It's not pity, thankfully, Sam would lose her mind if she heard pity in Lara's voice, but understanding. "Can I get under that blanket with you?"

Sam lifts the blanket up and Lara awkwardly climbs onto her couch from her position sitting on the floor. There's absolutely not enough space for them to be on the couch like this. It's not even a couch, really, it's a loveseat, but it's the comfiest piece of furniture in the apartment, and Sam always finds herself here when she gets stressed. The bed would work, but that's where they both have nightmares--it's not exactly a comfortable place to be.

"Are you hungry, still?" Lara murmurs.

Sam makes a noise that's vaguely assent. Lara's rubbing circles onto the back of Sam's hand with her thumb, and it's helping her to calm down almost as much as having their legs tangled together does.

"I'll order something." Sam starts to protest, but Lara adds. "In awhile."

Lara moves so that her head is in the crook of Sam's neck. Normally, Lara's head here means that Sam is getting the opposite of calm, but Sam starts combing through the knots that inevitably make their way into Lara's hair, and her breathing slowly calms.

"Thank you, Lara," Sam says, pressing a kiss to the top of Lara's head.

Lara makes a noise that Sam can't quite make out.

"What was that, sweetie?"

Lara snores.

Sam has to hold in laughter.  _What a nerd,_ she thinks. Part of her wants to get up and do something, but it's so warm here under the blanket with Lara--the comfortable kind of warm, not the heat of having the thermostat cranked too far up that makes Sam flashback to Yamatai. It's so comfortable.  _And my girlfriend's right here,_ Sam thinks, looking fondly down at Lara.

-

Sam wakes up, warm and cozy and alone. It's been so long since she's been this well-rested, so it takes her a minute to motivate herself to get off the couch and onto her feet.

"Lara?" she calls out sleepily.

She hears a small noise from the bedroom, and makes her way there. She knocks before opening the door.

Her girlfriend is sitting cross-legged on their bed, hands on her head, curled up. "Sam." Her voice is tense, terse.

"Lara, what's wrong?" Sam asks, immediately climbing on the bed next to her.

Lara moves her hands off her head to wrap her arms around Sam, and Sam can see she was digging her nails in.  _Thank God she keeps them short,_ Sam thinks. "I can't stop seeing them."

They've been through this so many times, Sam doesn't need to ask who  _they_ are. It's either the crew of the Endurance who didn't make it off Yamatai, or it's the Solarii. "What are you seeing?"

"I miss them, Sam," Lara says, and there's one question answered. "I dreamed we were on the ship again and then the storm hit and Roth--"

She sobs, choked, and Sam murmurs soothing nonsense until her crying calms down. Lara hugs her a little too tightly, as if reminding herself that Sam's still there.

"What happened wasn't your fault," Sam reminds her.

"It was, Sam, I took us to Yamatai, it's my fault they're--"

"No," Sam says, a little more assertive. "It isn't. We wanted to find Yamatai. None of what happened there was your fault. You couldn't have known what was there."

Lara doesn't say anything for a moment, but her breathing's a little steadier. "I--it feels like I'm going to wake up there. Sometimes."

"Me too," Sam admits. "But we're not. We're here. We're home. We don't have to go back."

"We're home," Lara repeats. Her breathing calms a little more. "I still can't believe half of what happened there."

"You're telling me," Sam says with what could almost pass for a laugh. "I mean, the undead queen alone was a shock."

Lara laughs, a real laugh if a strained one, and Sam can feel her own tension melt out of her body. She's always so worried she's going to say the wrong thing here, that Lara's going to realize that Sam isn't who she stay with, that she'll leave.

Lara wouldn't. She knows that. But when her head feels like something entirely unfamiliar, those thoughts always creep in. She hates it.

"You know," Sam says. "I think we should go to therapy."

"Me too," Lara says. Sam's a little surprised--she thought Lara would be against the idea. "I need to talk about this with someone. Professional," she rushes to add.

"Don't worry, Lara, I get it," Sam says, taking and squeezing Lara's hand. "We're gonna be better again one day. No matter how long it takes."

Lara smiles at her, face still streaked with tears, and says, "One day."


End file.
